Where has Santa gone?

Thinking about you during this season of happiness.

Dear Father,

It's December once again, and Christmas is lurking just around the corner. This used to be a pretty lonely holiday for me. There were the small presents. There were a few friends. There was plenty of food on the table. But still there is something missing all these past Christmases.

And that something was you.

Years ago, your absence was very much noticed. I would decorate the Christmas tree all by myself. Figure out how to get the star on the top. Ask my cousin's help with the electrical stuff. Come up with the best Christmas cards or gifts I can create. Cook something special for the Noche Buena and eat it with the family. That was how Christmas would go for me. It was monotonous, with nothing special happening. I always waited though. Always hoped. That one day Santa would answer my long time wish to finally spend a Christmas with you.

I once had the courage to come up with a Christmas list during my childhood years. It composed of the latest Barbie that was the latest model back then, gift wrapped and delivered right at my doorstep. I ended up forgetting about it. I tore it up and threw it away when I discovered it again and was told that the reason Santa can't go here is because we don't have any chimneys.

When I entered highschool, our 3rd year teacher gave us star-shaped slips of yellow cardboard to write all our wishes for Christmas. All the stars will then be placed at our door to form a Christmas tree out of it. Guess what I wished for?

That there would be peace in the world and that all families would be together this Christmas.

I had grown past the age of making gift lists for Santa. Now, I'm making a list for the people around me. The pain of your absence was lessened by the presence of my family and friends. Christmases today were much happier than it was before.

But still, I can't resist thinking about you. You are still my father no matter what. And however short was the span of time that the two of us spent together, you can't erase the fact that you still have some place in this small broken heart of mine.

I still think of you even today. Where in the world could he be staying right now? Is there snow in that country? I wish he would send some chocolates. Even melted snow would be nice. I'd just keep it frozen. What is his health condition? Is he sick? I hope he isn't. And if he is, I hope he gets well soon. How about gifts? Will he be receiving any? What would he like if he were here?

I think it will be a very very long time before all these questions and many more are answered. But I can wait as long as God permits me to stay in this mortal realm. I just want you to know that I miss you very much.

And Papa... Merry Christmas... wherever you are in the world.

Sincerely yours,
Urban Witch

My One True Valentine

2:14:07

Love is... a hormonal chaos waiting to explode anytime... n_n;

It’s Valentines Day, father. I’m just wondering. How did you and my mother used to spend Valentines when you two were still together? How did you court her when the two of you were still in love?

Tell me, father, what's it like to fall in love?

It seems kinda weird admitting this, but, yes, father… I had been in love.

He was a guy from our class, father. I had mentioned him before. He's the same guy who gave me Shiro, my smiling cat cellphone charm. He was a few inches taller than me, dark skinned, and had a triangle shaped face. He had big eyes, thick eyebrows and a big mouth that barely speaks. He was an otaku, or anime fan, just like me. And I had a serious crush on him.

(I wouldn't mention any names, though, because you might meet him somewhere at a very inconvenient time.)

What I liked about him most was his willingness to listen without arguing back and his tendency to smile in every possible occasion. He doesn't get provoked easily (which I used a lot of times to my advantage) and rarely talks unless spoken to. He seems like a shy guy, but unlike me, Math problems doesn't terrify him. I would often run up to him and ask for help during times of despair. He was also reliable, and though he doesn't talk much, but very friendly and approachable.

He was one of the people who intrigued me most when I first stepped into my new classroom for my third year. He was as he would always be: quiet, sitting by the shadows trying to remain unnoticed. I set myself a challenge to make him talk for the whole year we would be together. I succeeded with only a few attempts (thanks to Naruto). So I then posed a new challenge, to make him angry. It proved itself to be a much harder challenge, and I ended up not getting him angry but instead, becoming his ears to ease his frustrations on. He would share with me his frustrations with school and his group mates whenever we would walk home from school to the jeepney stopwhere he gets his ride home.

It was halfway through the year, as I was starting to know about him more and more during our walks home, that I was beginning to realize that I was starting to fall for him.

It did feel really weird, like what others who had been in and out of love had said. First of all, I have an innate distrust on the male species (thanks to you). Secondly, because I had been in a series of 30 minute crushes all my life (i.e. I see this cute guy, have a sudden crush on him, and when he walks away, that feeling is also gone for good.) But today, when I first spent Valentines day with someone that is dear to me, it felt really magical that I wished that it would be Valentines everyday.

My regular class schedule would start at 11 am and end at around 4:30 pm (or 3pm, depending on the number of subjects for that day). But today, out of some strange reason I still haven't found out, the Morning Classes (7 - 11 am) were suspended, and classes would resume at around 1 in the afternoon. Taking this great opportunity, we both agreed to meet earlier and eat lunch together. We decided to meet at 11 am at one of the stone pavilions erected in front of our building.

I had planned for Valentine's day a long time ago. In the tradition of the Japanese' Tanabata, I planned to make heart-shaped chocolates and give it to everyone, with a very special one cooked just for him. But as the day neared, the money saved for this special day got spent on projects, emergency trips to fast food chains, and other stuff related to school, and I ended up with half the budget to buy all the stuff I would need for the chocolates. So I turned to another alternative and went off to buy a brownie mix instead. It's still chocolate, anyway, and I had cooked it a lot of times before.

I woke up really early (around 6 am) and mixed up a delicious batch of brownies. And even in my dire effort to keep track of time, I ended up running late (again!). I was in a hurry to take the brownies from the oven that I had burned myself near my right wrist. The brownies didn't come out perfectly. One side was able to rise, while the other side didn't, resulting a slope shaped brownie. It was a great disappointment, but it did not discourage me a bit. I cut the brownies in 6 individual slices, and wrapped each one in red cellophane wrapper. I hurriedly shoved each in a paper bag, then quickly ran out of the house and headed for school.

The dreary old university we call school turned on a different aura that was obvious upon arrival on the school grounds. Everyone was everywhere, crowding in front of the college buildings or hanging around the memorable love spots in the school. Of course, almost everyone came in pairs, with either red roses or pink balloons or huge teddy bears. When I came to school, there was so much chaos it was easy to get lost in the sea of people rushing to and fro. I got around them, and went to our meeting place, to find him not there. I saw some of our classmates and I asked if they saw him, since we were to meet there. They said that he had been looking for me too, and when I was about to go looking for him, he came. I don't know if anyone noticed, but I managed to blush a little upon his arrival. I quickly covered it up with a little banter about where he went and that I had been dizzy trying to look for him. He said that he was looking for me too, and we then set off just the two of us for lunch.

Off we went to Lovelites, a small canteen located at Asturias, Dapitan, to get ourselves some lunch. We both bought the same meal: footlong hotdogs with rice and gravy and large C2 Apple (with an extra rice for him). As we waited for our orders, I slipped him my brownies, to which he reacted quite confused, but still he took it. I wanted to see him eat it, but it was enough for me to see that he took it anyway.

We then headed to our still empty classroom and ate our meals there. As we ate, some classmates came in and saw us, then left the room grinning while saying aloud that they will leave us lovebirds alone. (We have a very queer reputation in school that we are made for each other. Something that is quite natural since the two of us were together most of the time.) I tried to scare them off, but they ran away by themselves, leaving the two of us all alone once more.

it was the perfect moment, father, but I guess I myself is a "torpedo", or a scaredy-cat. I would had told him what I felt right then. Still, the time just doesn't feel right. So I just let destiny take a hand, and the rest of the hours passed with the two of us just chatting away. The bell rang, and our classmates began to flood in, and the magical moment was whisked away in the breeze. But even for just a while, I was truly happy. Because I was able to spend my Valentine's day with somebody had learned to love.

How about you, father? How did you spend your day today?