Dear Father,
I know it has been a while since I last wrote to you. A lot of things have happened. Life has not been a walk in the park, and I’ve been trying to keep up with its fast pace. Inevitable change happened. The good things ended and the unpredictable new beginnings started. All the while learning something new and becoming a much better person than what I was before.
One of the major changes that happened was work. Because of Mama’s illness, I was forced to leave work to start taking care of her. I was jobless for 7 months, the worst lull in my career life so far. We lived off only on the little that I make out of my Internet sideline. It was a hard and trying time, not just for me but also for Mama. The illness was quite unbearable at times. And it was hard for me to see her like that, unable to pay for her medication, check-ups and medical tests. Being financially crippled had been a major blow to us and this condition left us pretty much helpless in our every day struggles. If not for the help of our relatives, I wouldn’t know how we could have survived through those 7 months by ourselves.
By the time that the 6th month of unemployment was rolling in, I was pretty much at crossroads. I was tired of going from one interview to another, not finding a job that fits my career background, and being a useless house bum under the eye of my relatives (and perhaps, even in the eyes of my friends). I was feeling quite hopeless at that time. So hopeless that I decided that maybe a change in my career path would be fitting for me. And when the opportunity of going back to school was offered by one of my close aunts, I grabbed it. Then comes the question of what second course to take, and where. Not all colleges and universities allow the taking of second course. Most of them, especially the prestigious ones, require that you take a Masteral of your original course first before allowing you to take another course. In my case, this would mean additional years to complete my Masteral in Business Administration before getting the course that I want (which would approximately take 2 years to complete). If I wanted to take the second course alone, then the number of schools that can accept me can be counted in my fingers. And it also depends on what course I plan to take as well.
Initially, my aunt suggested that I take an IT course, seeing that this course is what is in demand right now. But after thinking things over, I thought that maybe taking the “in-demand” course is not right for me. First and foremost, I don’t have a penchant for numbers, and IT, specifically one that majors in Programming, is mainly about numbers. Also, I do not wish to take on another course that would make me feel frustrated for the lost time and effort because I am not doing what I wanted.
This became my second major decision: to take up Psychology as my second course. It wouldn’t be too far from my original course because BA and Psych are related to each other (i.e. Human Resource Manager). And, I have always been interested in Psychology as a subject. It fascinates me how the human mind works. How it reacts to a situation. Another reason stemmed from the fact that people find it easy to communicate with me and relay to me their problems. Along with my personal desire to help others realize their own potential and inspire them to reach their dreams, I bravely stood up for this decision.
But not everyone is too happy with it. My other aunt rejected it. She refused to support this dream of mine, without even giving me a chance to explain my point. I had always known that she is a close-minded person. And that no amount of convincing would make her sway from her decision. She believed that Psychology is a useless course to take. That unlike other courses, it is something that barely has any demand, that it is never financially rewarding, and that HR managers are the first ones to get fired once a company starts failing. Though these may be true, I would not have minded them. I would have defended myself by telling her that Psychology is in-demand in countries outside the Philippines, and that I am never after the financial reward. I am a person who does not care about money or power. I find it more fulfilling if I get to help others and see them successful in whatever they do… Something that could not be comprehended easily in this financially run world we have nowadays.
Perhaps you yourself do not understand why. Having gone through a financial crisis, it is normal for people to look for something that is financially rewarding to avoid being in that state again. But why do I choose to take the untrodden path? Sometimes, I wonder that myself. But I guess, my way of thinking definitely deviates the norm. I think in a way that others do not understand.
I had known beforehand that I would not be understood. That I would not be given a chance to defend myself. But what really struck a chord when we were talking to her was when she started talking about the other opportunities that I should take. Opportunities that had been given to me before, but I did not take them because I kept on following the will of others. Had I been given more freedom to choose for myself… Had they had encouraged me to go follow my dreams… To decide on my own when those opportunities had come knocking… I cried, Father. Cried, because of regret. Cried while thinking about who is to blame. It’s not just the fault of those who had controlled my life. But I also blame myself for letting them and not asserting myself.
After that event though, I was determined to change things. I continued to pursue Psychology even if it was against that aunt’s will. I found a school that allowed me to take it up as a second course and was successfully enrolled. All along, I thought that this would finally be the start of my new career in Psychology. That I would be finally pursuing something that I have wanted. But I was wrong. It seemed that God had other plans in store for me…
To be continued...
